Baby Turtle with Two Heads

According to scientists of the local aquarium who inspected the animal, it seems to be perfectly healthy.
... I'm assuming they mean, 'healthy' besides the fact that the poor thing has two heads.


Walking in Front

Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation.

This is marvelous, she said. What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?

The Kuwaiti woman replied, Land mines.

Blonde Goes to the Eye Doctor

A blonde named Georgina went to the eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read lines of letters with the left eye while covering the right eye. Georgina was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor took a paper sack, cut out a single hole, put it on her head so it covered the appropriate eye, and asked her to read the letters again. As he did so, he noticed tears dripping from the bottom of the paper bag.

Look, said the doctor, there's no need to get upset about needing glasses.

I know, she cried, But I had my heart set on wire frames.

Women vs. Harley Davidson: Better Invention

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Pete told Arthur, Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone your want in Heaven.

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said I want to hang out with God. St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?

God said, Ah, yes.

Well, said Arthur, professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention: First, there's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion. Second, it chatters constantly at high speeds. Third, most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much. Fourth, the intake is placed way too close to the exhaust. And finally, the maintenance costs are outrageous.

Hmmm, you may have some good points there, replied God, hold on. God went to his celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed, God said to Arthur, but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours!


Ask Dr. Science!

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