I am not sure if he is kidding or not, but this made me laugh.
Oh no! *tsk*
Jack decides that he wants to be a millionaire, but seeing no immediate way to achieve this goal, he decides to pray to God instead.
Everyday he prays the same prayer:
Dear Lord, please let me win the lottery! I promise to give a tenth of my winnings to the church, a tenth of the winnings to the poor, and a tenth to starving children in Africa. Amen.
Weeks pass, but despite his fervent praying, Jack is still as poor as ever. Finally, feeling a bit perturbed that God seems to be ignoring him, Jack prays again:
Dear Lord, I've been praying for weeks now that you'd let me win the lottery. I've even pledged 30% of my winnings to do good deeds, but I've haven't gotten a dime! Don't you want to help me help others?
Suddenly, a booming voice calls down from heaven.
Jack! Meet me halfway, man! Buy a lottery ticket!
Thank you Lord, that my dad knows what he's doing on computers (for the most part). This sounds like no fun. This embedded video is audio only.
Now, my mom on the other hand... Well, I'll always be happy to be tech support whenever necessary. Love, Jimmy.
Addendum: Just in case YouTube removes the video above...
Addendum #2: Here's one more.
An old country preacher had a teenage son and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do and he didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
I'll just hide behind the Door, the old preacher said to himself.
When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.
If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.
Lord have mercy, the old Preacher disgustedly whispered.
He's gonna run for Congress.
Found via Reddit. Thanks!
A Rabbi, a Priest and a Minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says,
Is this some kind of a joke?
Thanks to Bill for this one!
Thanks to Pam for this one!
A friend named Don linked to this one and I love it. Do you ever feel like you are finally an adult with adult responsibilities and then you start congratulating yourself on your accomplishments of today --only to get worn out when you realize that you have to do them again tomorrow? I'm not explaining it right, but perhaps you feel something it. You can read more at This is Why I'll Never be an Adult.