From our family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving! And if you can't afford a turkey, here's an alternative.
Karen the Computer: A to Y?
Plankton: Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.
Karen the Computer: What about Z?
Karen the Computer: Z... The letter after Y...
Plankton: W, X, Y... Z. Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said.
Karen the Computer: Oh, boy.
Plankton: It's evil. It's diabolical. It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't possibly fail!
Thanks go to Matt Armfield for sending me this one. I've heard it before in a few variations, but an oldie is usually a goodie.
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said,
Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger,
What would you want to talk about?
Oh, I don't know, said the atheist.
How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death? as he smiled smugly.
Okay, she said.
Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says,
Hmmm, I have no idea.
To which the little girl replies,
Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know crap?
And then she went back to reading her book.