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A visiting minister was speaking during the offeratory prayer. "Dear Lord," he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..."
He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl -- who was listening carefully for a change -- leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?"
Church was pretty much over at that point...
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God thought for a mom...
...Read the rest of the story here.
By Richard Tjoa - Redmond , WA - In a joint news conference, the Grim Reaper today announced the signing of a ten-year contract to use Microsoft's "fatal system error" screen--popularly known as the "Blue Screen of Death" or "BSOD"--in his company's life termination proceduresGrim Reaper to License "Blue Screen of Death" from Microsoft
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" the driver finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.