Things That Don't Exist

Here is a short list of things that don't exist:

Goldfish translators

proof that masonic indoctrination methods cause brain damage

A rational reason for me to not save all my urine and feces in jars, just like Howard Hughes did.

A scheme that will convince Paris Hilton to not marry Paris Whatshisname, and instead marry me.

A famous architect who hasn't been profoundly influenced by the shape of Pamela Anderson's knees.

Things That Don't Exist