Understanding Marketing - Joke of the Day

You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy. You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, "She's/He's fantastic in bed."

That's Advertising.

You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. They walk up to you and say, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."

That's Brand Recognition.

Go ahead and laugh at Today's Joke of the Day - ComedyCentral.com.

Google

Google's Personalized Home Page now has tabs! This has opened up the capability for me to really expand into categories. On my comedy page, I now have many updated feeds and comics. Here they are as of today, though I have linked to some of them before.

• Comedy Central's Joke of the Day
• Office Pirates: New Stuff
• Daily Show Text Headlines
• Calvin and Hobbes (Unofficial)
• BBspot
• The Chimp-o-Matic
• The Good, Clean Funnies List
• Penny-Arcade
• Dinosaur Comics
• Dilbert
• Jokes - jokes4all.net

Ewok Song

I watched Craig Kilborn back in the day, but I must have missed this one. Genuinely funny, subdued and goofy.

Watch it on YouTube - EWOK SONG.

Microsoft's Support Office

This one is a great technical support joke.

A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor.

Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: Hey, where am I?.

The solitary office worker replies: You're in an airplane.

The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it.

Elementary, replies the pilot, I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is three minutes away on a course of 87 degrees.

Three Duck Hunting Doctors

Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead. The general practitioner looks at it and says, Looks like a duck, flies like a duck ... it's probably a duck, shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.

The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, Hmmmm ... green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound ... might be a duck. He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone.

A third bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, brings the bird down, and turns to the pathologist and says, Go see if that was a duck.

Airplane Engine Failure

Q: If one engine fails, how far will the other one take us?

A: All the way to the scene of the crash.

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and fear ...fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency... Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope... Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surprise... I'll come in again.

Favorite UNIX/Windows Quotes

Bill Gates is a monocle and a Persian cat away from being the villain in a James Bond movie.
-- Dennis Miller

Did you know that if you play a Windows XP CD backwards, you will hear the voice of Satan?
That's nothing! If you play it forward, it'll install Windows XP.