Weapons of Mass Destruction Search

wmdsearch.gif (GIF Image, 196x406 pixels)

Perhaps George Bush should have used Google Desktop Search.

Professional Determination

This is for all those great engineers out there with professional determination.

It's the French Revolution and they're doing the usual beheadings. Today they're leading a priest, a drunkard and an engineer up to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says that he would like to face up so he will be looking toward heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine, release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. They take this as divine intervention and release the priest.

Next the drunkard comes to the guillotine. He also decides to die face up hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine, release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. So they release the drunkard as well.

The engineer is next. He too decides to die facing up. They raise the blade of the guillotine and suddenly the engineer says Hey, I see what your problem is.

Okay, that was a groaner but I couldn't help it.

I Expect You to Die

For more of this comic, go to xkcd.

Lucky You!

Surprise! You are the lucky winner of random I.R.S Audit! Just type in your name and social security number. Please remember that leaving the room is punishable under law.

• Name:
• Social:

Please feel free to forward this to all your tax-evading friends. Have a nice day!

dinosaur comics

Talking dinosaurs, repetitious use of tri-color sprites and social commentary -- what more could you want?

Would you like these headlines for your site? Visit qwantz.com - dinosaur comics - web syndication. You can also copy the code text below.

<script src="http://rsspect.com/websyndication/qwantzheadlines.js" type="text/javascript"></script>

Only In America

For those upset about the immigration situation in this country, this joke will be likeable, but otherwise you will probably be offended. Being White & Nerdy, I was on the fence about it.

A Somali arrives in New York as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, Thank you, Mr. American, for letting me in this country, and giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education! But the passer-by says, You are mistaken, I am Mexican.

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America! The person says, I no American, I Vietnamese.

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says Thank you for the wonderful America! That person puts up his hand and says I am from Middle East, I am not an American!

He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, Are you an American? She says, No, I am from Russia! So he is puzzled, and asks her, Where are all the Americans?

The Russian lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says, Probably at work!

Ohh, yeah that was a groaner. I apologize if anyone was offended.