Yo Mama #1

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles the cars start to slow down.

Think Before You Leap

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics. "Crap!"

CTRL + ALT + DEL "Nobody"

Who would have known that the popular series of Mac vs. PC commercials would generate a parody of their own?

Update (2007/02/17): I also posted a video of the original commercial this is a parody of.

Face Lift: The Knob

Thanks to Bryan F. from Quincy for this one.

A middle-aged woman went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob", where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift.

Of course the woman wanted "The Knob."

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful. The woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.

"All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results.

But now I've developed two annoying problems. First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."

The doctor looked at her closely and said "those aren't bags, those are your breasts!"

She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee!"

Classic.