Some Major Funny Ifs

1. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
2. How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
3. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
4. Why is abbreviation such a long word?
5. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
6. Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
7. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
8. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
9. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
10. If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
11. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
12. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
13. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
14. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
15. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
16. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?