Star Wars Photo Caption: My Only Hope

Star Wars.com posts a weekly feature called Communications Disruption that uses file or fan submitted pictures. Users of the site are urged to submit their own funny captions for the image. This week's list of captions goes along with a woman in a Princess Leia costume at an ATM machine.

This ATM unit has a bad motivator! (The Stooge)

Our first cash of the day. (Sol Kassar)

My father will know how to retrieve it. (xwingblue4)

It's an older PIN code, but it checks out. I was going to give her cash. Should I hold it? (snowdog83)

What do you mean Republic Credits are no good here?! (Darth RAYder 327)

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, I'm completely broke. (Nosaj Eel)

Negative $13?? This is my most desperate hour. (Sol Kassar)

Leia keeps an eye out for scruffy looking nerf-herders. (rwinningham74)

Now we find out if those PIN numbers are worth the price we paid. (Manitsas)

Turns out Obi-Wan wasn't her only hope. (littlethree)

If you find this as funny as I do and you want to try your hand at this week's contest for captions, head over to StarWars.com | Photo Captions.

Single & the Twenty

A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much.

The twenty answered, I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for a while, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?

The one dollar bill said, You know, same old stuff ... church, church, church.

Man Pees in a Shot Glass

This is a classic I had heard years ago. Thanks to ComedyCentral.com for resurrecting it for me.

A guy is in a bar with a bunch of his friends. After a while of shooting pool and drinking, he whispers something to his friends. A few minutes later he walks over to the bartender and asks for a shot of tequila. After he takes the shot he says to the bartender, I'd like to make a bet with you.

The bartender replies, Sure I'm in a betting mood. So the man bets the bartender $1,000 that he can pee in the shot glass placed all the way across the room and fill it up and not spill a drop. The bartender says, I'll take that bet.

So the man walks to the other side of the room and places the shot glass down. He goes back to the bartender and starts peeing. He doesn't even get a drop in. He pees all over the place; in the bartender's face, all over the barstools and everything.

After he was done peeing, the bartender laughed and said, You owe me $1,000. The man paid the money with a big smile on his face. The bartender asked, How come you're so happy?

The man replied, You see those five guys over there by the pool table? I bet them $300 each that I could piss all over your bar and you'd laugh about it.

Why You Should Never Take Your Husband Shopping

This was sent to me by Bryan F. back in May and I apparently forgot to post it until today. Weird. Anyway, the commentary on this one is that this is the reason never to take your husband shopping. I've seen it before actually posted as a list of funny suggestions to try next time you are stuck in a store, not a fictional letter but it's funny either way.

Dear Mrs. Schuemeyer,

Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us unless your husband, Mr. Bill Schuemeyer, stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares ... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&Ms on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'Caution - Wet Floor' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a Tents in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they can help him, he began to cry and asked Why can't you people just leave me alone?
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled PICK ME! PICK ME!
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
15. December 23: (And; last, but not least!) Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, There is no toilet paper in here!

Greaser Babies

I want to thank my mom for sending me this one. Grease was on the television today as a coincidence, just as I opened the email with the link to this video.

View it full size at eUniverse.com - greaserbabies.swf (application/x-shockwave-flash Object).

Another Halloween Reminder

Here is another reminder that Halloween is right around the corner and we want to wish you a Happy Howling Halloween.

{tags: holidays/halloween, funny, images}.

Wandering Tree Frog

Comics on Google

Terror Alert Level - Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Terror Alert Level - Sesame Street

Tales From the Shire

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They take her to a local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears strange noises through the door.

I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!

In the morning, the second hobbit asks the first, How did it go?

It was embarrassing. the first one answers, I simply couldn't do it.

The second hobbit shook his head. Manhood problems, eh?

No. I couldnt get on the bed!

View another Joke from Comedy Central at jokes.comedycentral.com.

E. Coli

I just heard the bad news from my Dad. It is with deep regret that I advise you of another e-coli victim.

To Wish You a Happy Halloween

I'd like to be the first to pass along a Happy Halloween from Bryan F., thanks!

Popular Mechanics ca 1954

Whenever anyone tries to sell you or convince you of the idea of what the future might look like, keep the below image in mind. It's from Popular Mechanics, supposed experts on technology.

In case the image caption is a little hard to read, here it is in full.

Scientists from the RAND Corporation have created this model to illustrate how a 'home computer' could look like in the year 2004. However the needed technology will not be economically feasible for the average home. Also the scientists readily admit that the computer will require not yet invented technology to actually work, but 50 years from now scientists progress is expected to solve these problems. With teletype interface and the Fortran language the computer will be easy to use.

Awesome. I can't wait.