Wouldn't Joker Make The Worst Babysitter?

Now, our operation is small, but there's a lot of potential for "aggressive" expansion. So, which one of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh, there's only one spot open right now, so we're gonna have... Tryouts.

Make it fast.

Go the F**k to Sleep

See the video of the kids book that's not really for kids, Go the F**k to Sleep read by Samuel L. Jackson.

Seriously, this one is not for kids at all. But it does capture the feeling and desperate attitude all parents go through at some point.

Tom Smith - Tech Support for Dad

Thank you Lord, that my dad knows what he's doing on computers (for the most part). This sounds like no fun. This embedded video is audio only.

Now, my mom on the other hand... Well, I'll always be happy to be tech support whenever necessary. Love, Jimmy.

Addendum: Just in case YouTube removes the video above...

Addendum #2: Here's one more.

Ronald Reagan - Bedroom Disaster Area

Here is the text from an actual letter written to President Ronald Reagan by a 7^th grade boy in 1984. It is hilarious and what is more touching is that President Reagan's response to the boy.

April 18, 1984

Dear Mr. President,

My name is Andy. I am a seventh grade student.

Today my mother declared my bedroom a disaster area. I would like to request federal funds to hire a crew to clean up my room. I am prepared to provide the initial funds if you will privide matching funds for this project.

I know you will be fair when you consider my request. I will be awaiting your reply.

Sincerely yours,
Andy

---

May 11, 1984

Dear Andy:

I'm sorry to be so late in answering your letter but, as you know, I've been in China and found your letter here upon my return.

Your application for disaster relief has been duly noted but I must point out one technical problem: the authority declaring the disaster is supposed to make the request. In this case, your mother.

However, setting that aside, I'll have to point out the larger problem of available funds. This has been a year of disasters: 539 hurricanes as of May 4th and several more since, numerous floods, forest fires, drought in Texas and a number of earthquakes. What I'm getting at is that funds are dangerously low.

May I make a suggestion? This Administration, believing that government has done many things that could better be done by volunteers at the local level, has sponsored a Private Sector Initiatives Program, calling upon people to practice voluntarism in the solving of a number of local problems.

Your situation appears to be a natural. I'm sure your mother was fully justified in proclaiming your room a disaster. Therefore, you are in an excellent position to launch another volunteer program to go along with the more than 3000 already underway in our nation. Congratulations.

Give my best regards to your mother.

Sincerely,
Ronald Reagan

Found via Facebook.

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?

And now, once again...

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? > Blog Archive BRING ME SOLO AND THE WOOKIEE. <

Want Some Poupon?

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.

The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side. Hold Jon (our six-week-old son) while I get myself a sandwich, she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

Later (after she stopped crying from laughing so hard) my wife said, Now you know why they call that mustard 'Poupon.'

Baby Blues

Heather V. had saved these on my computer back in the day. Any parent can identify with these.