Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch ... you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband..

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

*Floor 1* - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

*Floor 2* - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

*Floor 3* - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

Wow, she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

*Floor 4* - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

Oh mercy me, she exclaims, I can hardly stand it!

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

*Floor 5* - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

*Floor 6* - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth!

You Know You Are Living in 2006 When...

I know this one is a few months late, but I thought it was funny.

You know you are living in 2006 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cellphone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cellphone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :-)
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
16. And now you are laughing at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!

Apple Macintosh vs. PC Commercials

Back in May of last year, I posted a comic parody about Macs versus PCs called CTRL + ALT + DEL "Nobody". It seems wrong that I looked back and realized that I never posted the original commercial that this was based off of.

Funny and effective marketing at it's finest.

Going to the Hardware Store

I'm a "Weird Al" fan as anyone can tell. Please check out this flash file video of a Yankovic song at Albino Blacksheep » Flash Files » Hardware Store.

Chipping a Nail, Condoms & Maxi Pads

Here's another one from Bryan Farr.

If you chip a nail while you're typing is that the same as biting your tongue when you're talking?

Heh. Bryan claims he only steals jokes from other people. My theory is that there really are no new jokes out there in the world. However, everyone latches on to certain jokes that match their personality and they refilter and retell them so they seem new. For instance, to my knowledge I've never heard this one, also from Bryan.

The Condom said to the Maxi Pad, Every month you screw up my job for a week!

The Maxi Pad turned to the Condom and said, Well, if you fail at your job I lose mine for 9 months, so we're even!

Groan... Thanks Bryan. Please send me more when they come to you.

Alligator Love

My friend Bryan F. contributed the following crude joke over instant message last month. It's a little crass, but that's Bryan for you.

So, I'm watching the Animal Channel and they have this female alligator and they are talking about what female alligators do to attract a mate. The nice lady animal handler just said and I quote, It's quite a beautiful display. But if the male alligator doesn't like her, he will eat her.

That's strange. I thought that meant you like the girl, but I could be wrong. The animal handler had that look on her face people get when they say something they know will get taken out of context. My only thought was Sister, you'd better be glad I'm not doing the interview.

I think we are all glad that Bryan wasn't doing the interview. Check out more about Bryan at www.myspace.com/bryanfarr.

Star Wars: The Empire Brokeback

This one is awesome.

It was a friendship ... that became a rebel alliance. It's the greatest love story never told. A parody of the "Brokeback Mountain" trailer, starring C-3PO and R2-D2. Enjoy.

See Star Wars: The Empire Brokeback on Google Video.

More OWNED!

Obi-Wan Kenobi Pwns Baby!

As I posted and explained here under OWNED!, it means to completely destroy or best in a shameful fashion. Here is another very funny example.

Nice job there, Ben. Keep it up and you will be a Jedi Master yet.

Zach Braff

For a YouTube video, this one is rather longish at ten minutes and twenty seconds. However, having watched Scrubs on Comedy Central enough to be familiar with the characters doing the voice over, I found this one rather funny. My wife really loves the show and she found herself full of LOL while watching the following.

I also feel it an important time to note that as the generation who invented "LOL" and "ROTFLMAO" and "WFT?" I feel that the current young generation needs to let go and get your own abbreviations. And learn to spell.

Get to know Zach at MySpace.com / Zach Braff.

Pachelbel Canon in D - Rob Paravonian

We heard this one on Bob & Tom this morning.

I've played this piece in symphonic band on the trombone. The low brass section is pretty much in the same boat as the cellos are in orchestra.

A comedian rants about how much it sucks to play Pachelbel's Canon in D on a cello. Recorded live at Penn State, this piece by comedian/musician Rob Paravonian has been a favorite on the Dr. Demento Show.

This video also came from YouTube.

Nintendo Accapella

This one is great! Sigh... I'm all nostalgic.

This one came from YouTube.

Computer! Computer?

She comes home and ... he's on the computer again!

Ouch! See this again on YouTube.

How To Shower - Men & Women

It's important to keep your whole physical hygiene in order, therefore watch this video and take notes.

How Many Licks Does it Take?

Check out more comics like this at bLaugh > The (Un)Official Comic of the Blogosphere!