Getting on the Boob Train

What's the difference between women's breasts and model train sets?

Both of these were designed for children, but are played with more often by adult males.

You Make Me Touch Your Hands For Stupid Reasons

Order 66

Americans Are NOT Stupid

This video makes me laugh, but also make me want to cry, to hit someone, perhaps to defect.

Dude! What the hell? Why do these people start answering these questions?

Addendum

Of course, we can always hope for this:

The Preacher's Son...a valuable lesson to learn

An old country preacher had a teenage son and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

• A Bible
• A silver dollar
• A bottle of whiskey
• A Playboy magazine.

I'll just hide behind the Door, the old preacher said to himself. When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.

If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

Lord have mercy, the old Preacher disgustedly whispered. He's gonna run for Congress.

---

Found via Reddit. Thanks!

Interrupting Cow

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrup--

MOO!

Blonde Paints a Porch

A blonde canvassed a wealthy neighborhood looking for odd jobs. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had anything for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

"How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her the paint was in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Source

Over Four Hours

All I have to say in response to those Cialis and Viagra commercials is that if it does in fact last longer than four hours, I'm not calling a doctor... I'm calling a freakin' priest to have it certified as a miracle!

Google Suggest Hilarity

Happy Halloween!

Here's a Halloween joke for you. What do they call two spiders that just got married?

Newly Webbed

Don't Cry for Me Argentina

I don't know why, but this one got me. Don't Cry for Me Argentina - IMAGER.CC.

Charlie The Unicorn

Here is three minutes and forty-five seconds of your life that you will never get back... Enjoy.

Yoda Dog Costume

View more dogs in weird outfits or purchase a Yoda Dog Costume for your pup.

Dancing Badger Badger Badger.com! The Original!

This is so annoying. Get it stuck in your head today. Dancing Badger Badger Badger.com! The Original!

Hit the "ANY" Key?

For many years, one of the funniest computer-related puns has been that a prompt might ask the user to "Hit any key to continue". However, there is no key on the keyboard labeled "ANY" and computer noobs might be calling the technical support line asking for further assistance. It turns out that the Compaq computer company even has posted an FAQ file for it. Check it out at the COMPAQ Support Library. It was on Digg later too. How dumb is that?

Update: the Compaq website is broken, and potentially has been so for a long time. I guess they forgot to hit the right key to restart the server...